Archive for January, 2013

Myths of the Karate Werewolves

January 31, 2013

Pah! Watching rotten movie from Chisel Films on the box about vampires who can do Kung-Fu. Chisel stole that from my short story Myths of the Karate Werewolves first published in  the 1972 Christmas edition of Razzle.

Werewolf! Now that’s a man’s monster. Wouldn’t mind bagging one, mounting its head over the fireplace. Unless it was only a wolf’s head at full moon. Wouldn’t want a cove’s face staring glassily at me for 28 days of the month. Not again…

Once bagged a giraffe while in Rhodesia with my old chum Lucky. In a fit of madness decided to have its head – ┬áneck & all – stuffed & mounted. Blasted thing reached all the way from above the mantlepiece out into the vestibule. Jolly proud of it but it was a nuisance. When our housekeeper started to hang her bloomers from it to dry then I realised, reluctantly, that it had to go. But have you ever tried to dispose of a dead giraffe’s bonce? Binmen wouldn’t take it, no matter the bribe. Too stiff to bend in half & snap. Eventually I had to dig a very deep & narrow hole. But it wasn’t deep enough so the head protruded from the ground like an orange bollard. I just stuck a,little fishing rod in its mouth, plonked a red bobble hat over its little horns – & pretended it was a gnome.