I am the foremost author of stylish thrillers and occult novels in the world. That’s not how I describe myself, I hasten to point out, that was in The Reader’s Digest Guide to Modern British Authors. Of course, they were right, even if one says so oneself. I may be a humble scribe, but I do rather think there’s something frightfully common about false modesty. And the hack who called me a ‘Purveyor of pot-boiling prurient piffle’ in the Times Literary Supplement is an alliterative arse.

My war record speaks for itself; or would do, if I hadn’t signed the Official Secrets Act

Heraldry, history, archery, warfare – modern and vintage, tax avoidance, fishing (until the wretched do-gooders put a stop to it), fine wines, and of course – the ladies!
Favorite Music:
No-one has ever matched my dear old friend Eddie Elgar. Although I am rather partial to Elaine Paige.
Favorite TV Shows:
Television is for being on the Board of Governors of, not watching.
Favorite Movies:
Definitely not Hammer Films! Not after they ballsed up the film of my modern classic Satan’s Claws Are Coming To Town – they cast the wretched Richard Wattis as my hero Charles, the Viscount de Bourbon a Bisquit – a pansy, I ask you, as a leading man. What were they thinking of? My own suggestion had been Dirk Bogarde.
Favorite Books:
Anyone with a good meaty story to tell with dashing heroes, glamorous women, exotic locales and sinister villains. My own, in other words! But Sven Hassel or Dick Francis if I want to see what the opposition is up to. Only joshing, Sven and Dickie!

My most famous novels include:
I Love Lucifer
Hell Sailor
Satan’s Claws Are Coming To Town
I was Mosley’s Double
The Eunuch of Willesden
The Devil Drags Up
The Gypsy & the Bitch
The Extrovert Invert: A Lord Arthur Banshee Mystery
Perversity & Perversion: the Satanic Adventures of Jane Austen
Bitchfinder General
The Limp-Wristed Mountebank: A Lord Arthur Banshee Mystery
An Officer But Not a Gentleman: A Derek Playfair Adventure
‘The Warrior Nun Trilogy’:- The Sisters of No Mercy, Mother Inferior, The Nuns of Gavarone

The Man Who Single-Handedly Won World War II

Aside from my 237 novels, I have also written many highly-acclaimed non-fictional works. These include:-

The Poor: Why They Should Learn to Lump It
A Pictorial History of Communists and Other Scoundrels
The Queen Mother: I Salute You, Ma’am! (A Personal <p>Tribute to the Greatest Lady of the 20th Century)
Aleister Crowley – Hero or Bounder?
The Weaker Sex! A Humorous Map through the Minefield that is the Modern Lass!
Where Hitler Went Wrong
Beastliness and How to Avoid it – a guide for boys on the brink of manhood
If Only They’d Listened to Me: the 1930s
If Only They’d Listened to Me: the 1940s
If Only They’d Listened to Me: the 1950s
If Only They’d Listened to Me: the 1960s
If Only They’d Listened to Me: the 1970s
At Last! They Finally Listened! the 1980s

Twitter @sirdesstirling

Hear me at work

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